1) I have already had to be honest with my family of origin
2) It is hard to be cash strapped when you are the parent of a pre-teen and a teenager
3) Should I attend a Debtors Anonymous meeting?
Question: What has given you support in the face of financial difficulty?
My mom called yesterday afternoon to inform me that my brother's kids from Michigan were coming to her town (Duluth) for a week. My mom and I live two and a half hours away, so when the Michigan Eldridges decide to visit, we always fit in a larger family get together. Sometimes I'm aware of the MEs coming so I can budget for it. Other times, like now, I'm the last to know, so I don't have a lot of wiggle room to host out of town guests.
Anyway, Mom wanted to know if we could get the kids together, maybe stay with me at my house for a couple of days and then go to our local amusement park?
Within a few seconds of hearing the news, I already started to hear the sound of money leaving my wallet. I get a slight panicky feeling in my stomach, my head starts to throb, and I feel myself taking deeper breaths as I try to figure out how I will afford to host another family with food and amusement park tickets. Usually when they visit, it's a 4-5 day stay, and the little costs start to add up for a person like me.
I love my family of origin, but like any family, our family dynamics are complicated, especially for me. I usually think too hard about it, but as it stands today, I feel like I'm the poorest sibling. It is a sucky feeling.
During my phone call with Mom, she began to brainstorm ways for all of our family to get together and help her entertain my niece and nephew. I had to tell her that "things are tight this month" and that I wouldn't be able to afford amusement park tickets. It helps that my two kids have already been to our local amusement park this summer.
Mom said that she understood, so we are in the midst of planning an alternative. She told me that she appreciated that I was honest with her and not "Minnesota nice". Huge relief, and I hope it gets easier for me to be this honest. I could tell that the amusement park was still going to be her first choice. I'll deal more with that discussion later this week.
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I looked up "support groups for spending and debt", and found DA ,or Debtors Anonymous. There's a Tuesday night meeting about three miles from my house, so I may stop be a couple of times. After talking with Mom and realizing that I really don't have a lot of people to talk to about my debt problems, this may be a useful tool. I think that by talking, I can become more transparent to others as well as more transparent to myself.
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I greeted my daughter this morning, and saw that she has really grown taller since last year. The blue athletic shorts she was wearing were looking tighter, and I dare say they are nearly three years old. She needs, no, she DESERVES new clothes that fit well and make her feel good. I need to get on this.
I have three paychecks between now and the new school year. I need to set aside money, no matter how little, to buy both of my kids clothes. In fact, here's my end of summer list to consider budgeting for:
1. kids clothes
2. school supplies
3. pay water bill
4. get the dog neutered
5. take the kids to the Minnesota State Fair
As always, I have to get on this. Time for a rigorous workout at the gym because I'm starting to hyperventilate slightly. This is a stressful time, and I hope to goodness that a year from now I'm feeling better about my life and finances.
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