I'm gonna just suck it up and take it for now. Skinny's is easy work, but the manager is a big, disorganized, micromanaging mess. Friendly and even generous, as noted by how he paid me on Monday. But last night during my "waitress training", he hovered over me to make sure I filled the salad dressing cups correctly. What, really?
Also, there's no work schedule to speak of. The manager, I'll just call him Hank, just tells me what day he'd like me to work the following week, and I respond "yes" or "no". Doesn't sound like I will have a certain day of the week to count on, either. It's all in his chaotically organized head.
Funnily, at the end of my shift last night, I was told to write my name on a waitress pad sheet, include the day, date, and the times I worked, and place it within a disorganized collection of other waitresses' pad sheets stuffed into a small, plastic meal basket on top of the microwave. That is record keeping system. It's how he remembers waitress hours in order to calculate our pay at the end of the week. What the hell? God forbid one of those sheets accidentally falls in the fryer grease. It's his word against the waitress's word as to whether she worked last Tuesday. This system needs help.
I only make $5.50 an hour there, plus tips of course, and I knew that going in. However, I was kind of counting on tips. Although a light night last night, I still had customers, but no tips. That's because I learned that customers sitting at the bar (and not at the traditional tables) will walk up to our service window and order a meal from me. I take their order, serve their food at the bar, ask how their food is tasting, clear their dishes with a smile....but I won't receive a tip at all. The barmaid gets all bar tips, the wait staff gets all table tips. Oh well, I guess she depends on tips, too.
Nice, here it is. Underemployed, yet desperate for extra money. I gotta do what I gotta do. Maybe after a while, if I choose to continue to work there a couple of times a week, I will have made enough of a positive impression that I can ask about how to earn my share of the tip. Or, maybe after a short while, I'll decide that this is chicken shit and I'll just leave. Maybe a part time position at the Sylvan Learning Center will give me a call. But I'm not gonna hold my breath.
Question: Share one employment experience that drove you nuts. How long did you stay before you threw in the proverbial apron?
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
7/358: I hate morning robo calls
Last night, I stayed up until about 2:00 am to watch a few episodes of season one "Louie". Yup, I'm hooked.
Early this morning, I was awakened by a robo phone call from a credit card company of a card I had forgotten about last week while writing my list of debts. I owe $540. The card has been closed for two months. I'm two payments past due. The monotone, robo representative is asking me if I can pay the entire balance now, or just the minimum payment of $100. No and no.
I hate BOTH of these situations: owing a past due amount, and being awakened by a robo call. It's just so shitty to start my day like this (I think I'm starting to sound like C.K.), especially after yesterday's good events.
I pressed "2" to answer "no" to the question, "Are you able to make a payment now?" If I was able to make any kind of payment, I would have done it in the first place.
I'm mad at "them", the credit card bastards, but I acknowledge that I'm projecting the anger that I actually feel toward myself. It's still my fault, I take the blame, but I hate being reminded of my inability to pay, of being broke. In the morning. While I'm trying to sleep.
Please call as at your earliest convenience at 1-800-IT-SUCKS.
So, today I'll call this particular card company back, discuss a payment arrangement with a real live person, and then include the payment amount on my Debt List on my cell phone list so that I can keep better track of it.
On the bright side, paying back $540 seems to have an earlier completion date. By paying $45 for the next twelve months, I'll be all done with it, so I've got that celebration to look forward to.
Today is Tuesday, the night of the closest Debtors Anonymous meeting. I'd think more about going tonight, but I've got a two hour shift at Skinny's, and there is no way I'd give up the opportunity to make tip money. It's just unbelievable that a professional with a master's degree has to think about these things. I've put myself here, and I can only be the one to get me out of this stupid hole.
I need another mug of caffeine.
Early this morning, I was awakened by a robo phone call from a credit card company of a card I had forgotten about last week while writing my list of debts. I owe $540. The card has been closed for two months. I'm two payments past due. The monotone, robo representative is asking me if I can pay the entire balance now, or just the minimum payment of $100. No and no.
I hate BOTH of these situations: owing a past due amount, and being awakened by a robo call. It's just so shitty to start my day like this (I think I'm starting to sound like C.K.), especially after yesterday's good events.
I pressed "2" to answer "no" to the question, "Are you able to make a payment now?" If I was able to make any kind of payment, I would have done it in the first place.
I'm mad at "them", the credit card bastards, but I acknowledge that I'm projecting the anger that I actually feel toward myself. It's still my fault, I take the blame, but I hate being reminded of my inability to pay, of being broke. In the morning. While I'm trying to sleep.
Please call as at your earliest convenience at 1-800-IT-SUCKS.
So, today I'll call this particular card company back, discuss a payment arrangement with a real live person, and then include the payment amount on my Debt List on my cell phone list so that I can keep better track of it.
On the bright side, paying back $540 seems to have an earlier completion date. By paying $45 for the next twelve months, I'll be all done with it, so I've got that celebration to look forward to.
Today is Tuesday, the night of the closest Debtors Anonymous meeting. I'd think more about going tonight, but I've got a two hour shift at Skinny's, and there is no way I'd give up the opportunity to make tip money. It's just unbelievable that a professional with a master's degree has to think about these things. I've put myself here, and I can only be the one to get me out of this stupid hole.
I need another mug of caffeine.
Monday, July 29, 2013
6/359: Two good things happened
First, I was able to easily stop payment from Consumer Credit of Des Moines. The kind woman on the other end of the phone said that it would be no problem for me to mail in a cashier's check by August 15th.
Second, I worked my very first shift as a server at our neighborhood pub, Skinny's, this afternoon. For three hours of work serving up a buffet funeral luncheon, the manager handed me $40 cash. He said that while the rate for buffet service was $10 per hour, he threw in a little extra because I learned a lot today.
I placed those couple of twenty dollar bills directly into a clean, plastic jar that used to hold hazelnut chocolate spread, and hid it toward the back of my dresser. My plan is to keep all cash payments and and tips in that jar to be used for emergencies. My hope is that after a month or so, that jar will hold enough to help me celebrate the Minnesota State Fair with my kids. At the Fair, our yearly tradition before school starts, it's easy to plop down over $100 for tickets, food, and entertainment. I hope that this little emergency / treat jar helps me and my family feel a little bit more normal these last eight months as I do what I can to continue to pay down my debt.
It's been a good day today. I feel better knowing that there is always this blog site for me to keep myself honest about my money intake and output. Thank you to those readers that help me to stay honest.
Question: If you are someone that has struggled with saving money in the past, or you are struggling like me now, what advice would you give? I would so appreciate your comments. Thanks again.
Second, I worked my very first shift as a server at our neighborhood pub, Skinny's, this afternoon. For three hours of work serving up a buffet funeral luncheon, the manager handed me $40 cash. He said that while the rate for buffet service was $10 per hour, he threw in a little extra because I learned a lot today.
I placed those couple of twenty dollar bills directly into a clean, plastic jar that used to hold hazelnut chocolate spread, and hid it toward the back of my dresser. My plan is to keep all cash payments and and tips in that jar to be used for emergencies. My hope is that after a month or so, that jar will hold enough to help me celebrate the Minnesota State Fair with my kids. At the Fair, our yearly tradition before school starts, it's easy to plop down over $100 for tickets, food, and entertainment. I hope that this little emergency / treat jar helps me and my family feel a little bit more normal these last eight months as I do what I can to continue to pay down my debt.
It's been a good day today. I feel better knowing that there is always this blog site for me to keep myself honest about my money intake and output. Thank you to those readers that help me to stay honest.
Question: If you are someone that has struggled with saving money in the past, or you are struggling like me now, what advice would you give? I would so appreciate your comments. Thanks again.
Sunday, July 28, 2013
5/360: George Carlin / Louis C.K....
...are two of my favorite stand up comedians. When you're a single mom with little time or money to go anywhere or do anything, and you're not dating at the moment, you spend a lot of nights watching Netflix.
Last year, my online obsession was George Carlin comedy specials. Who can resist them? His perspective on the ridiculousness of life gets me every time. I also remember encountering a book at Barnes and Noble containing love letters (some raunchy yet also irresistibly endearing), pictures, and copies of Post It notes that Carlin's wife collected and published. He's an ideal guy to have around if you like someone who can blur the line between insanity and clarity.
But I've recently discovered Louis C.K. Yesterday, I tuned in to his show "Louie" on Netflix, and couldn't stop watching. While my kids hung out upstairs, I went to my favorite laptop spot in the basement and binge watched "Louie" for about six episodes. Then I looked him up on Wikipedia and read about him because I'm such a geek. Then when I read that he received an Emmy for the episode entitled "Pregnant", I skipped all the way to the second season in order to watch it. And I loved it.
C.K., if I can call him C.K. fascinates me for a lot of reasons, but mostly because, like Carlin, he is so completely honest about topics considered to be taboo, like not liking your kids sometimes or post divorce dating pains. And being broke. It hurts that I haven't heard about him until now. All that time, unaware that there was a guy that could show me a newer version of what raw, pissed, and honest look and sound like. So refreshing. So funny, because it's true. Everyone loves someone who can say out loud what everyone else is thinking (or at least subconsciously thinking).
One of Mr. C.K.'s bits is entitled, if I remember correctly, "Being Broke". Click. Watch. Listen. Relate. C.K. relayed the insanity of having less than no money. A bank will charge you for not having enough money, that is, if you don't have a "minimum balance". Bastards. They suck. I hate banks because they make a profit off of less fortunate people, or at least people that don't manage their money well, like myself. Notice how I didn't use the term "earn a profit". They make it. They create it. And it's wrong, plain and simple.
Question: Who inspires you to be the most honest version of yourself?
In any field or profession, you've got your front line infantry and your back line cavalry. The infantry are usually the peons that have to charge into the battle first, work hard, and get paid less. They, or I should say "we", are the ones with credit card debt and money problems. The well dressed and manicured cavalry stand back and watch it all comfortably from their corner offices. The cavalry make more and more money doing very little while the lower paid infantry work long hours with fewer coffee or bathroom breaks. I'll bet that the bank cavalry, the CEOs, presidents, or whatever they're called, don't ever watch Louis C.K. or George Carlin. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't understand the humor or the anger. I'd bet that the infantry bank tellers, even though they work at a bank, would understand the insane truthfulness of the "Being Broke" episode. They'd get it.
As far as my own financial situation goes, I've got the same balance in my checking account as I did yesterday. No change, no big ideas, either. But at least I'm still in the black.
I just got off the phone with Mom. We had an easy, comfortable talk about the amusement park thing. It felt good to tell her that if she and Dad took only my niece and nephew from Michigan to the park (where my kids already went this summer), I still love them and my kids' feelings are in tact. I uninvited me and my kids. There, I saved myself a boat load of money and guilt for spending what I don't have. I feel free.
It's a beautiful, sunny, crisp Sunday afternoon. I am still broke, but I've invited my kids to go play tennis at an outdoor court near their school, and they're feeling up to it. I'm feeling satisfied today, and that's good.
Last year, my online obsession was George Carlin comedy specials. Who can resist them? His perspective on the ridiculousness of life gets me every time. I also remember encountering a book at Barnes and Noble containing love letters (some raunchy yet also irresistibly endearing), pictures, and copies of Post It notes that Carlin's wife collected and published. He's an ideal guy to have around if you like someone who can blur the line between insanity and clarity.
But I've recently discovered Louis C.K. Yesterday, I tuned in to his show "Louie" on Netflix, and couldn't stop watching. While my kids hung out upstairs, I went to my favorite laptop spot in the basement and binge watched "Louie" for about six episodes. Then I looked him up on Wikipedia and read about him because I'm such a geek. Then when I read that he received an Emmy for the episode entitled "Pregnant", I skipped all the way to the second season in order to watch it. And I loved it.
C.K., if I can call him C.K. fascinates me for a lot of reasons, but mostly because, like Carlin, he is so completely honest about topics considered to be taboo, like not liking your kids sometimes or post divorce dating pains. And being broke. It hurts that I haven't heard about him until now. All that time, unaware that there was a guy that could show me a newer version of what raw, pissed, and honest look and sound like. So refreshing. So funny, because it's true. Everyone loves someone who can say out loud what everyone else is thinking (or at least subconsciously thinking).
One of Mr. C.K.'s bits is entitled, if I remember correctly, "Being Broke". Click. Watch. Listen. Relate. C.K. relayed the insanity of having less than no money. A bank will charge you for not having enough money, that is, if you don't have a "minimum balance". Bastards. They suck. I hate banks because they make a profit off of less fortunate people, or at least people that don't manage their money well, like myself. Notice how I didn't use the term "earn a profit". They make it. They create it. And it's wrong, plain and simple.
Question: Who inspires you to be the most honest version of yourself?
In any field or profession, you've got your front line infantry and your back line cavalry. The infantry are usually the peons that have to charge into the battle first, work hard, and get paid less. They, or I should say "we", are the ones with credit card debt and money problems. The well dressed and manicured cavalry stand back and watch it all comfortably from their corner offices. The cavalry make more and more money doing very little while the lower paid infantry work long hours with fewer coffee or bathroom breaks. I'll bet that the bank cavalry, the CEOs, presidents, or whatever they're called, don't ever watch Louis C.K. or George Carlin. Even if they did, they probably wouldn't understand the humor or the anger. I'd bet that the infantry bank tellers, even though they work at a bank, would understand the insane truthfulness of the "Being Broke" episode. They'd get it.
As far as my own financial situation goes, I've got the same balance in my checking account as I did yesterday. No change, no big ideas, either. But at least I'm still in the black.
I just got off the phone with Mom. We had an easy, comfortable talk about the amusement park thing. It felt good to tell her that if she and Dad took only my niece and nephew from Michigan to the park (where my kids already went this summer), I still love them and my kids' feelings are in tact. I uninvited me and my kids. There, I saved myself a boat load of money and guilt for spending what I don't have. I feel free.
It's a beautiful, sunny, crisp Sunday afternoon. I am still broke, but I've invited my kids to go play tennis at an outdoor court near their school, and they're feeling up to it. I'm feeling satisfied today, and that's good.
Saturday, July 27, 2013
4/361: Then and now
Yesterday was a rough day for most of it. I had a cloud of shame and guilt hanging over my head. Also, a bit of disbelief and "why me?" for most of the morning and part of the afternoon.
I only have about $300 left in the bank. And yesterday was payday. I have to lay this out because it's the truth, and the first goal on my list was this: "(THOUGHTS AND WORDS): To be honest with myself and others about my financial limitations".
The cloud eventually cleared up, but before it did, I had to hit a strange kind of "rock bottom" feeling. After doing all of the math and figuring that only $18 stood between all of my bills being paid and groceries for the next two weeks, I made a decision that is not new for me: I spent money.
I had to. What other option was there? My daughter has grown out of her summer clothes and camp is in two weeks. We bought t-shirts and shorts at Target, and everything was on sale. My son needed flashlight batteries and other camp gear, too, so we bought them. Also, a large Jif peanut butter was on sale for $5, so we bought it. (My daughter is vegetarian, and peanut butter helps us both get by for a protein alternative.) We spotted seedless watermelon for $4.99, but I knew it would be cheaper at Aldi, so we passed it up.
Question: What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
My son begged for Twinkies. And begged, and begged. "Please, Mom, I've never had them before." (Lie.) "Please, please? I promise, this is the only thing I'll ask for, and I'll share with Laura."
"Okay, but you have to share. And you can only have two in the car." Max had eaten most of his lunch earlier. He mischievously ate three Twinkies in the car he told me later on that day, but I knew he was in kid heaven. At least temporarily until the next "want".
After Target, I dropped the kids off at home and went straight to Aldi. If I'm gonna do it, I might as well get it over with, especially since I know there is still money in my account and I can use my debit card. None of the automatic withdrawal bills like electric or the two credit cards are scheduled to post until next week. So I bought four bags of groceries for $48 at Aldi, my saving grace grocery store.
Last stop was Cub Foods for some extra firm tofu. They sell it for only $2.00. I'll make a large batch of vegetarian stir fry with the fresh vegetables, and that will be good for 2-3 meals for my daughter. If I saute some chicken, that will be good for my son, the carnivore.
On the way home with all of my provisions, my head began to hurt. My temples felt heavy, and I began breathing more slowly and noticeably. I wasn't feeling well, but rather overwhelmed. And worried. And panicked. My money. My plan. Those bills that need to be paid before August 9th. What was I going to do?
I went home, unpacked the groceries, walked past and smiled at the kids who were enjoying a movie on DVD, and lay my head down in my room. I just needed a moment to calm down and breathe normally. I needed to think of a solution. How was I going to manage now that I outspent my surplus $18 by about $160?
My solution? I have a $370 payment scheduled for August 1st. The payment is what I pay a non profit credit counseling organization called Consumer Credit of Des Moines. They collect from me two amounts each month, and then they pay my creditors. I have only eight months to go, and then I will have completed the program. If I call them on Monday, I'm sure they'll let me mail in that payment to them after my next paycheck on August 9th. I'll mail them a certified check from the bank, and then they will have the necessary amount by the 15th to pay my creditors.
Problem solved? Hopefully. I'll know Monday morning. My fingers are crossed, but I'm also breathing more easily.
I only have about $300 left in the bank. And yesterday was payday. I have to lay this out because it's the truth, and the first goal on my list was this: "(THOUGHTS AND WORDS): To be honest with myself and others about my financial limitations".
The cloud eventually cleared up, but before it did, I had to hit a strange kind of "rock bottom" feeling. After doing all of the math and figuring that only $18 stood between all of my bills being paid and groceries for the next two weeks, I made a decision that is not new for me: I spent money.
I had to. What other option was there? My daughter has grown out of her summer clothes and camp is in two weeks. We bought t-shirts and shorts at Target, and everything was on sale. My son needed flashlight batteries and other camp gear, too, so we bought them. Also, a large Jif peanut butter was on sale for $5, so we bought it. (My daughter is vegetarian, and peanut butter helps us both get by for a protein alternative.) We spotted seedless watermelon for $4.99, but I knew it would be cheaper at Aldi, so we passed it up.
Question: What would you have done if you were in my shoes?
My son begged for Twinkies. And begged, and begged. "Please, Mom, I've never had them before." (Lie.) "Please, please? I promise, this is the only thing I'll ask for, and I'll share with Laura."
"Okay, but you have to share. And you can only have two in the car." Max had eaten most of his lunch earlier. He mischievously ate three Twinkies in the car he told me later on that day, but I knew he was in kid heaven. At least temporarily until the next "want".
After Target, I dropped the kids off at home and went straight to Aldi. If I'm gonna do it, I might as well get it over with, especially since I know there is still money in my account and I can use my debit card. None of the automatic withdrawal bills like electric or the two credit cards are scheduled to post until next week. So I bought four bags of groceries for $48 at Aldi, my saving grace grocery store.
Last stop was Cub Foods for some extra firm tofu. They sell it for only $2.00. I'll make a large batch of vegetarian stir fry with the fresh vegetables, and that will be good for 2-3 meals for my daughter. If I saute some chicken, that will be good for my son, the carnivore.
On the way home with all of my provisions, my head began to hurt. My temples felt heavy, and I began breathing more slowly and noticeably. I wasn't feeling well, but rather overwhelmed. And worried. And panicked. My money. My plan. Those bills that need to be paid before August 9th. What was I going to do?
I went home, unpacked the groceries, walked past and smiled at the kids who were enjoying a movie on DVD, and lay my head down in my room. I just needed a moment to calm down and breathe normally. I needed to think of a solution. How was I going to manage now that I outspent my surplus $18 by about $160?
My solution? I have a $370 payment scheduled for August 1st. The payment is what I pay a non profit credit counseling organization called Consumer Credit of Des Moines. They collect from me two amounts each month, and then they pay my creditors. I have only eight months to go, and then I will have completed the program. If I call them on Monday, I'm sure they'll let me mail in that payment to them after my next paycheck on August 9th. I'll mail them a certified check from the bank, and then they will have the necessary amount by the 15th to pay my creditors.
Problem solved? Hopefully. I'll know Monday morning. My fingers are crossed, but I'm also breathing more easily.
Friday, July 26, 2013
3/362: Payday
Last night I had trouble falling asleep, so I did what most people do: called my bank to see if my deposit was in.
My deposit was in. It felt good to hear the positive number over the phone, but I didn't feel overly joyous. Because of my six overdrafts last week, my present balance is substantially lower than usual. But at least I am in the black. It's a small victory. For now.
This morning, I took out a few of the need-to-pay bills from my bedroom drawer, poured myself a glass of orange juice, and took out my phone. I called to set up payments. Telephone company, electric company, music store for instrument rental, violin for Laura and trumpet for Max. Done, done, and done.
After that, I took my iPhone where I keep a list of all monthly auto debit bills and their dates. With a calculator, I figured out how much money would be left after ALL of the due bills were paid, including the bills I just took care of. The remainder was $18.06. Crap. That's not good.
My account is now in the black, and that's a small victory, but it doesn't account for the following:
1) groceries for the next two weeks
2) some camp essentials for both kids next week (shampoo, flashlights, batteries, rain gear, etc.)
3) additional summer clothes for Laura, who is growing like a weed
4) paying back Laura and Max for some money I had borrowed for groceries, gas, and rental for a lawn mower last week, which adds up to $90.
5) within the next month, we'll need school supplies and new school clothes, shoes, and haircuts
Question: What advice would you give me?
This has become a repeat experience for me over the years. When I have to make choices week to week, it's inevitable that I will be overdrawn. Sometimes it's just a matter of deciding when to let the that happen. From my list of five items above, I will have to withdraw some cash, maybe $100, and see where it takes me with each of them.
This is a hard day. Familiar, but nevertheless hard. I know in my heart that if I had the money, I would pay the money. Just don't have it, and I'm looking forward to when the part time waitress job kicks in next week.
My deposit was in. It felt good to hear the positive number over the phone, but I didn't feel overly joyous. Because of my six overdrafts last week, my present balance is substantially lower than usual. But at least I am in the black. It's a small victory. For now.
This morning, I took out a few of the need-to-pay bills from my bedroom drawer, poured myself a glass of orange juice, and took out my phone. I called to set up payments. Telephone company, electric company, music store for instrument rental, violin for Laura and trumpet for Max. Done, done, and done.
After that, I took my iPhone where I keep a list of all monthly auto debit bills and their dates. With a calculator, I figured out how much money would be left after ALL of the due bills were paid, including the bills I just took care of. The remainder was $18.06. Crap. That's not good.
My account is now in the black, and that's a small victory, but it doesn't account for the following:
1) groceries for the next two weeks
2) some camp essentials for both kids next week (shampoo, flashlights, batteries, rain gear, etc.)
3) additional summer clothes for Laura, who is growing like a weed
4) paying back Laura and Max for some money I had borrowed for groceries, gas, and rental for a lawn mower last week, which adds up to $90.
5) within the next month, we'll need school supplies and new school clothes, shoes, and haircuts
Question: What advice would you give me?
This has become a repeat experience for me over the years. When I have to make choices week to week, it's inevitable that I will be overdrawn. Sometimes it's just a matter of deciding when to let the that happen. From my list of five items above, I will have to withdraw some cash, maybe $100, and see where it takes me with each of them.
This is a hard day. Familiar, but nevertheless hard. I know in my heart that if I had the money, I would pay the money. Just don't have it, and I'm looking forward to when the part time waitress job kicks in next week.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
2/363: Three issues
1) I have already had to be honest with my family of origin
2) It is hard to be cash strapped when you are the parent of a pre-teen and a teenager
3) Should I attend a Debtors Anonymous meeting?
Question: What has given you support in the face of financial difficulty?
My mom called yesterday afternoon to inform me that my brother's kids from Michigan were coming to her town (Duluth) for a week. My mom and I live two and a half hours away, so when the Michigan Eldridges decide to visit, we always fit in a larger family get together. Sometimes I'm aware of the MEs coming so I can budget for it. Other times, like now, I'm the last to know, so I don't have a lot of wiggle room to host out of town guests.
Anyway, Mom wanted to know if we could get the kids together, maybe stay with me at my house for a couple of days and then go to our local amusement park?
Within a few seconds of hearing the news, I already started to hear the sound of money leaving my wallet. I get a slight panicky feeling in my stomach, my head starts to throb, and I feel myself taking deeper breaths as I try to figure out how I will afford to host another family with food and amusement park tickets. Usually when they visit, it's a 4-5 day stay, and the little costs start to add up for a person like me.
I love my family of origin, but like any family, our family dynamics are complicated, especially for me. I usually think too hard about it, but as it stands today, I feel like I'm the poorest sibling. It is a sucky feeling.
During my phone call with Mom, she began to brainstorm ways for all of our family to get together and help her entertain my niece and nephew. I had to tell her that "things are tight this month" and that I wouldn't be able to afford amusement park tickets. It helps that my two kids have already been to our local amusement park this summer.
Mom said that she understood, so we are in the midst of planning an alternative. She told me that she appreciated that I was honest with her and not "Minnesota nice". Huge relief, and I hope it gets easier for me to be this honest. I could tell that the amusement park was still going to be her first choice. I'll deal more with that discussion later this week.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I looked up "support groups for spending and debt", and found DA ,or Debtors Anonymous. There's a Tuesday night meeting about three miles from my house, so I may stop be a couple of times. After talking with Mom and realizing that I really don't have a lot of people to talk to about my debt problems, this may be a useful tool. I think that by talking, I can become more transparent to others as well as more transparent to myself.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I greeted my daughter this morning, and saw that she has really grown taller since last year. The blue athletic shorts she was wearing were looking tighter, and I dare say they are nearly three years old. She needs, no, she DESERVES new clothes that fit well and make her feel good. I need to get on this.
I have three paychecks between now and the new school year. I need to set aside money, no matter how little, to buy both of my kids clothes. In fact, here's my end of summer list to consider budgeting for:
1. kids clothes
2. school supplies
3. pay water bill
4. get the dog neutered
5. take the kids to the Minnesota State Fair
As always, I have to get on this. Time for a rigorous workout at the gym because I'm starting to hyperventilate slightly. This is a stressful time, and I hope to goodness that a year from now I'm feeling better about my life and finances.
2) It is hard to be cash strapped when you are the parent of a pre-teen and a teenager
3) Should I attend a Debtors Anonymous meeting?
Question: What has given you support in the face of financial difficulty?
My mom called yesterday afternoon to inform me that my brother's kids from Michigan were coming to her town (Duluth) for a week. My mom and I live two and a half hours away, so when the Michigan Eldridges decide to visit, we always fit in a larger family get together. Sometimes I'm aware of the MEs coming so I can budget for it. Other times, like now, I'm the last to know, so I don't have a lot of wiggle room to host out of town guests.
Anyway, Mom wanted to know if we could get the kids together, maybe stay with me at my house for a couple of days and then go to our local amusement park?
Within a few seconds of hearing the news, I already started to hear the sound of money leaving my wallet. I get a slight panicky feeling in my stomach, my head starts to throb, and I feel myself taking deeper breaths as I try to figure out how I will afford to host another family with food and amusement park tickets. Usually when they visit, it's a 4-5 day stay, and the little costs start to add up for a person like me.
I love my family of origin, but like any family, our family dynamics are complicated, especially for me. I usually think too hard about it, but as it stands today, I feel like I'm the poorest sibling. It is a sucky feeling.
During my phone call with Mom, she began to brainstorm ways for all of our family to get together and help her entertain my niece and nephew. I had to tell her that "things are tight this month" and that I wouldn't be able to afford amusement park tickets. It helps that my two kids have already been to our local amusement park this summer.
Mom said that she understood, so we are in the midst of planning an alternative. She told me that she appreciated that I was honest with her and not "Minnesota nice". Huge relief, and I hope it gets easier for me to be this honest. I could tell that the amusement park was still going to be her first choice. I'll deal more with that discussion later this week.
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I looked up "support groups for spending and debt", and found DA ,or Debtors Anonymous. There's a Tuesday night meeting about three miles from my house, so I may stop be a couple of times. After talking with Mom and realizing that I really don't have a lot of people to talk to about my debt problems, this may be a useful tool. I think that by talking, I can become more transparent to others as well as more transparent to myself.
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I greeted my daughter this morning, and saw that she has really grown taller since last year. The blue athletic shorts she was wearing were looking tighter, and I dare say they are nearly three years old. She needs, no, she DESERVES new clothes that fit well and make her feel good. I need to get on this.
I have three paychecks between now and the new school year. I need to set aside money, no matter how little, to buy both of my kids clothes. In fact, here's my end of summer list to consider budgeting for:
1. kids clothes
2. school supplies
3. pay water bill
4. get the dog neutered
5. take the kids to the Minnesota State Fair
As always, I have to get on this. Time for a rigorous workout at the gym because I'm starting to hyperventilate slightly. This is a stressful time, and I hope to goodness that a year from now I'm feeling better about my life and finances.
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Here's the good news
Payday is in two days. That's something.
I only make $1,750 every two weeks. In twenty six paychecks a year, that's a net income of $45,500. As everyone knows, much of my gross earnings goes to taxes, family health and dental insurance, and retirement savings.
Because I'm already in the hole this week, I will probably only see $1,150. Of course I transfer $100 of every paycheck to Larry's account because he helped me pay for the largest, most expensive living room window which was collecting dangerous mold along the windowpanes. That will leave me with $1,050. Once the bills are paid, most of them through auto debit, that number will dwindle down considerably fast within one week. But it's still something.
There's more good news to share.
My kids and I are healthy. There are no medical bills to pay, except for a $25 dentist's copay from my son's last filling.
I joined a gym last winter. My health insurance company rewards me by paying me back $20 every month that I visit at least twelve times. I love it. Working out regularly helps me relieve my stress and I can go anytime that works for me. My success in visiting my gym twelve time a month for the last seven months helps me feel good that I can stick to a plan. Yay, me!
It's summer, and my teacher's schedule allows me to stay home with the kids. Therefore, I don't have to pay any before or after school care for my son these summer months.
The kids' upcoming week of summer camp is paid in full.
My car still has a quarter tank of gas. That will last me the next 4-5 days until it's time to fill 'er up again.
The kitchen cupboards and freezer are filled with nutritious food and snacks until I shop for groceries on payday. We have enough milk, eggs, bread, cheese, fruit, vegetables, peanut butter, cereal, rice, and a pound cake for dessert for the rest of the week. I've got two lasagnas, one regular and the other vegetarian for my daughter, that are ready to be cooked tonight for dinner. I'm sure we'll have enough for leftovers tomorrow.
This Thursday is my son's last regular season soccer game. I'm pretty sure that my last $16 in cash will be able to cover some Dairy Queen treats in case the coach tells the families to meet there. I've learned as a soccer/baseball/basketball mom that you have to be ready for such unplanned expenses with some of these coaches.
Finally, I got an offer for a part time job yesterday waiting tables and helping in the kitchen of a neighborhood pub and grill. Since the beginning of this summer, I've been knocking on doors and emailing resumes for anything I can do to earn more money over the summer months. Until yesterday, nothing looked promising. I'm really happy about this. So is my son. He gave me a high five when he heard that I got the job. Smiley face.
Did I mention that payday is in two days?
Question: What have you done to earn extra money when you needed it?
I only make $1,750 every two weeks. In twenty six paychecks a year, that's a net income of $45,500. As everyone knows, much of my gross earnings goes to taxes, family health and dental insurance, and retirement savings.
Because I'm already in the hole this week, I will probably only see $1,150. Of course I transfer $100 of every paycheck to Larry's account because he helped me pay for the largest, most expensive living room window which was collecting dangerous mold along the windowpanes. That will leave me with $1,050. Once the bills are paid, most of them through auto debit, that number will dwindle down considerably fast within one week. But it's still something.
There's more good news to share.
My kids and I are healthy. There are no medical bills to pay, except for a $25 dentist's copay from my son's last filling.
I joined a gym last winter. My health insurance company rewards me by paying me back $20 every month that I visit at least twelve times. I love it. Working out regularly helps me relieve my stress and I can go anytime that works for me. My success in visiting my gym twelve time a month for the last seven months helps me feel good that I can stick to a plan. Yay, me!
It's summer, and my teacher's schedule allows me to stay home with the kids. Therefore, I don't have to pay any before or after school care for my son these summer months.
The kids' upcoming week of summer camp is paid in full.
My car still has a quarter tank of gas. That will last me the next 4-5 days until it's time to fill 'er up again.
The kitchen cupboards and freezer are filled with nutritious food and snacks until I shop for groceries on payday. We have enough milk, eggs, bread, cheese, fruit, vegetables, peanut butter, cereal, rice, and a pound cake for dessert for the rest of the week. I've got two lasagnas, one regular and the other vegetarian for my daughter, that are ready to be cooked tonight for dinner. I'm sure we'll have enough for leftovers tomorrow.
This Thursday is my son's last regular season soccer game. I'm pretty sure that my last $16 in cash will be able to cover some Dairy Queen treats in case the coach tells the families to meet there. I've learned as a soccer/baseball/basketball mom that you have to be ready for such unplanned expenses with some of these coaches.
Finally, I got an offer for a part time job yesterday waiting tables and helping in the kitchen of a neighborhood pub and grill. Since the beginning of this summer, I've been knocking on doors and emailing resumes for anything I can do to earn more money over the summer months. Until yesterday, nothing looked promising. I'm really happy about this. So is my son. He gave me a high five when he heard that I got the job. Smiley face.
Did I mention that payday is in two days?
Question: What have you done to earn extra money when you needed it?
Here's the situation....
I'm a 46 year old divorced mother of two kids, 13 year old Laura and 11 year old Max. I am a fully employed high school teacher. With the help of student loans (gulp!) I earned my master's degree six years ago. I've never been unemployed, except for the two years that I stayed home with my toddler daughter and my infant son. When he turned 9 months old, I went back to work and I haven't stopped.
In those early years of my marriage, I brought credit card debt to our union, but so did my ex husband. As we built our family, we put furniture and furnishings on credit cards. While I stayed home with the kids, he worked full time at a $40,000 a year job while also pursuing his law degree. We both used credit to appear to our families of origin that we were "doing fine". We both secretly knew that we weren't completely fine. And we rarely talked in a healthy way about money. Fight about money? Yes. Talk about money. Never.
Question: When is the best time to bring up money when in a long term relationship?
I'm still in a lot of debt, so I'm going to list the bad news here first. I promise that the good news list will follow, because there's always a silver lining. I have blessings galore, and it feels right and fair to list them as well.
My ex husband, Larry, and I together own a home: a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom rambler, in a middle class suburb outside of St. Paul, Minnesota. I share this home with my children. Larry remarried last December and lives with his wife about twenty minutes away. In our divorce decree, Larry agreed to pay our mortgage in place of child support, and he has done this without fail. I am truly grateful for this.
The house my children and I share is sturdy, but older, built in the 1950s. The original plumbing, exterior siding, original windows and doors, and tar coated driveway need to be refurbished or replaced. There is a dying pine tree and a couple of older, dying lilac bushes that need to be taken out, and our shed needs to go as well. Or, we could get a newer home....someday.
I own my 2000 Volvo, but it's falling apart. These past couple of years I've paid over $2,000 in repairs, which made me max out one of my only two working credit cards, the ones that were going to help me build my credit. I need a newer car.
I have no available credit on my two remaining credit cards. They're maxed out, and I'm struggling to even pay the minimum payment. That said, I want to do whatever it takes to keep these cards in order to build my credit.
I have $6,000 left to pay on a number of closed credit cards. I'm accomplishing this through a non profit credit counseling service. I have only eight months to go and I'll be paid in full.
I have student loan debt of nearly $50,000, however the phone representative of the collection company to which I pay $342 monthly told me that they would shave off a substantial amount of interest if I paid successfully for nine months. This August will be the ninth month! I feel like this should be an early success for me, but we'll see. I have a follow up phone call to make next month.
I have had a tough time contributing funds to my daughter's college savings plan. I stopped my contributions about eight months ago, and I want to start that back up soon. Very soon. So much of my guilt feelings about my debt are related to not being able to be a better than adequate provider for my kids. I'm a good mom, and our home is filled with love and laughter, and ice cream, but I have to say "no" a lot. Too many times.
I am overdrawn in my checking account. Payday is in two days, but I'm presently in the hole about $600 according to the overdraft letter I received today from my bank.
I have $16 dollars and a couple of dollars in change in my wallet.
The good news deserves it's own post, so I'm going to do it right now.
In those early years of my marriage, I brought credit card debt to our union, but so did my ex husband. As we built our family, we put furniture and furnishings on credit cards. While I stayed home with the kids, he worked full time at a $40,000 a year job while also pursuing his law degree. We both used credit to appear to our families of origin that we were "doing fine". We both secretly knew that we weren't completely fine. And we rarely talked in a healthy way about money. Fight about money? Yes. Talk about money. Never.
Question: When is the best time to bring up money when in a long term relationship?
I'm still in a lot of debt, so I'm going to list the bad news here first. I promise that the good news list will follow, because there's always a silver lining. I have blessings galore, and it feels right and fair to list them as well.
My ex husband, Larry, and I together own a home: a 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom rambler, in a middle class suburb outside of St. Paul, Minnesota. I share this home with my children. Larry remarried last December and lives with his wife about twenty minutes away. In our divorce decree, Larry agreed to pay our mortgage in place of child support, and he has done this without fail. I am truly grateful for this.
The house my children and I share is sturdy, but older, built in the 1950s. The original plumbing, exterior siding, original windows and doors, and tar coated driveway need to be refurbished or replaced. There is a dying pine tree and a couple of older, dying lilac bushes that need to be taken out, and our shed needs to go as well. Or, we could get a newer home....someday.
I own my 2000 Volvo, but it's falling apart. These past couple of years I've paid over $2,000 in repairs, which made me max out one of my only two working credit cards, the ones that were going to help me build my credit. I need a newer car.
I have no available credit on my two remaining credit cards. They're maxed out, and I'm struggling to even pay the minimum payment. That said, I want to do whatever it takes to keep these cards in order to build my credit.
I have $6,000 left to pay on a number of closed credit cards. I'm accomplishing this through a non profit credit counseling service. I have only eight months to go and I'll be paid in full.
I have student loan debt of nearly $50,000, however the phone representative of the collection company to which I pay $342 monthly told me that they would shave off a substantial amount of interest if I paid successfully for nine months. This August will be the ninth month! I feel like this should be an early success for me, but we'll see. I have a follow up phone call to make next month.
I have had a tough time contributing funds to my daughter's college savings plan. I stopped my contributions about eight months ago, and I want to start that back up soon. Very soon. So much of my guilt feelings about my debt are related to not being able to be a better than adequate provider for my kids. I'm a good mom, and our home is filled with love and laughter, and ice cream, but I have to say "no" a lot. Too many times.
I am overdrawn in my checking account. Payday is in two days, but I'm presently in the hole about $600 according to the overdraft letter I received today from my bank.
I have $16 dollars and a couple of dollars in change in my wallet.
The good news deserves it's own post, so I'm going to do it right now.
DAY 1/364 TO GO, July 24, 2013: I have to write about this....
I'm in financial hell as I write this. My plan is to get out.
I think that writing about the process, twists, turns, mistakes, and hopefully the successes will help. At the very least, journal writing will hopefully keep me accountable and on task. I need to get through this problem one day at a time so that I can feel better. I want financial sanity, and I want it NOW!
I wish there was an Anonymous group for people like me. Is there one? Money Worriers Anonymous? It can't be called Spenders Anonymous because I never have any money to spend, at least not now. If there isn't a support group, maybe I need to form one. Not a bad idea, so I'll table it for now.
Here's my rough plan for the next twelve months:
1) (THOUGHTS AND WORDS) I'm going to be more honest with myself and with others about my financial limitations.
2) (ACTIONS AND WORDS) I'm going to check my credit reports. (*I called and ordered my three credit reports on Aug. 19) Then study them. Then ask companies to take off debts that are paid in full.
3) (ACTIONS) I'm going to set up a plan to pay off my remaining two credit cards.
4) (THOUGHTS, WORDS) I'm going to ask a friend to be my "spending sponsor" for when I need to control my spending urges.
5) (ACTIONS) I'm going to read more books about paying off debt and making my money count.
6) (ACTIONS) I'm going to open up a savings account, and NOT dip into it like I've done in the past.
7) (THOUGHTS) I'm going to be kind to myself.
8) (ACTIONS) (*I've got a jar on my dresser for tip money from Skinny's) I'm going to start a Treat Savings Jar for myself and my family
9) (ACTIONS) I'm going to research how to become pre-approved for a new house, and begin that process.
10) (THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS) I'm going to celebrate my successes responsibly with my friends and family.
11) (WORDS) I'm going to ask for moral support, not financial support.
12) (THOUGHTS AND WORDS) I'm going to come up with a mantra that will get me through the next 365 days after this first try.
I'm frustrated, I'm angry at myself, and I'm ready. Let's do this.
I think that writing about the process, twists, turns, mistakes, and hopefully the successes will help. At the very least, journal writing will hopefully keep me accountable and on task. I need to get through this problem one day at a time so that I can feel better. I want financial sanity, and I want it NOW!
I wish there was an Anonymous group for people like me. Is there one? Money Worriers Anonymous? It can't be called Spenders Anonymous because I never have any money to spend, at least not now. If there isn't a support group, maybe I need to form one. Not a bad idea, so I'll table it for now.
Here's my rough plan for the next twelve months:
1) (THOUGHTS AND WORDS) I'm going to be more honest with myself and with others about my financial limitations.
2) (ACTIONS AND WORDS) I'm going to check my credit reports. (*I called and ordered my three credit reports on Aug. 19) Then study them. Then ask companies to take off debts that are paid in full.
3) (ACTIONS) I'm going to set up a plan to pay off my remaining two credit cards.
4) (THOUGHTS, WORDS) I'm going to ask a friend to be my "spending sponsor" for when I need to control my spending urges.
5) (ACTIONS) I'm going to read more books about paying off debt and making my money count.
6) (ACTIONS) I'm going to open up a savings account, and NOT dip into it like I've done in the past.
7) (THOUGHTS) I'm going to be kind to myself.
8) (ACTIONS) (*I've got a jar on my dresser for tip money from Skinny's) I'm going to start a Treat Savings Jar for myself and my family
9) (ACTIONS) I'm going to research how to become pre-approved for a new house, and begin that process.
10) (THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS) I'm going to celebrate my successes responsibly with my friends and family.
11) (WORDS) I'm going to ask for moral support, not financial support.
12) (THOUGHTS AND WORDS) I'm going to come up with a mantra that will get me through the next 365 days after this first try.
I'm frustrated, I'm angry at myself, and I'm ready. Let's do this.
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